Hilariously, while I was away I found out I'd been shortlisted for a BiB award. I don't quite know how this happened, as it wasn't in the 'Mildly humorous Drivel' category, but 'Fashion'. Supposedly once you're nominated someone on the panel takes a look at your blog, so I'm not really sure how no-one twigged I'm not a fashion blogger. I mean, I love clothes and all, but hate having my photo taken, so it's not really a match made in heaven. And if you look back through my archive, there's only a handful of posts featuring me [although I have stopped cutting my head off. And my profile picture is now me. That's progress, people!]. Anyway, I didn't bother confirming my blog and getting a badge because it just seemed a bit weird and frankly made me think less of their selection process anyway. It would make about as much sense as Rihanna being voted Miss Modesty. However, I did figure it was time for another awkward outfit post.
So, on to the dress. I found it in a charity shop for £4. It looks hardly worn. And it's purple! Yay! I had a cheongsam years ago but it met with an accident so I'm really pleased to finally find a replacement. [It only took a couple of decades]. Possibly it needs removal of another rib/5lbs to be completely flattering - shiny satin not being the worlds most photograph friendly material, but I swear that is just wrinkles in the fabric, not flab. Mostly. Possibly it would look better inside, in the gloom. [Gosh,I'm really working this fashion blogger angle].
Breathe in! Grin! Stick your elbow out in an unnatural fashion
I got the straighteners out - big hair wasn't working
Cheongsams are possibly the world's most impractical clothing - you can't really sit down, or eat, or um, breathe - but hey, respiration is overrated!
And finally, here's my contribution to the 'chronic Bitchface' archives:
Here I am, aged around 4 (so 1981 or thereabouts), wearing my traditional Welsh costume and avoiding looking at the camera. Some things don't change. Look at the shelf groaning with booze behind me. [That hasn't changed either].
I was reminded of this picture by seeing photos on Facebook of my friend's little girl and her class, all dressed up back home and looking super cute. It was always fun, but a less practical outfit for primary school is hard to think of - those shawls impede your arms rather. The boys would generally just come in with a leek attached to them somewhere, which someone would invariably attempt to eat raw and then breathe all over you. Happy days...
Of course, had I not escaped Wales for London, I'd now look like this:
Can you see Satan's face? If you spot it straight away you're supposed to have the Devil in you. A print of this painting was given away with Sunlight soap, and it hung in my neighbour's house when I was a child. I was always fascinated by it, although it's very dour, even without demonic influence.
Two years. No, not how long it's been between posts. I've not been that neglectful a blogger. It's actually two years since I started writing the blog. Two hundred and eighteen posts, including this one. Hmm, that probably doesn't sound very impressive to anyone who posts every day. But it's good for me.
I hope you like how Faith Hope and Charity Shopping has turned out. Things have changed a fair amount as I worked out what I actually like to write about. There are and still will be posts when I find something second hand, but I reached a point where I realised I seemed to be accumulating tat for the sake of writing about it. That has stopped. I am going to make a concerted effort to only buy and write about things I really love. Which work with things I already own. And make the photos come out a little prettier. I am impressed - in a tooth-grindingly jealous kind of way - with blogs where they manage to make a chipped cup look aspirational. Or an artfully placed spray-painted plastic dinosaur suddenly look amazingly modern. I want to combine my loves of modern design and vintage pieces in my house and my wardrobe, but fear you either have 'it' or you don't. It's a hard look to pull off, especially when half the household would vote for a Star Wars theme, accessorised with discarded socks and hot wheels cars.
Personal style blogs are some of my favourites. When they're good they're very good, but when they're bad...well, they're still entertaining! It's nearly five years post my last baby and only now do I feel as though I am recognising myself in the mirror again. Albeit more bleary eyed. That's quite lame isn't it? What was I doing all that time? Also the wardrobe sort out has revealed that er, I have a lot of designer jeans. And leather jackets. And scarves. This is not very exciting. I like stretchy jersey dresses with a denim jacket. [I'm think I'm overly influenced by people who stopped existing in the 90s. I blame you, Winona Ryder, Bridget Fonda and Jami Gertz]. A male friend recently commented that I haven't really drastically changed my going out look since school. I usually aim for a kind of 'I'm with the band' vibe. I can't do hair, but I'd like to. Still, I'm happy to try things on. Now I'm grown up I miss going to the shops with a friend, where we'd pick out the craziest things on the rails in Miss Selfridge and make each other try them on. I'd be the one who'd buy them. I guess blogs are a good replacement for this.
I talk about my kids occasionally, but do not want to be defined as a 'mummy blogger'. If something interests me, I'll write about it, but I'm not going to be a toy/mini breadstick/other random product 'ambassador'. I don't subscribe to any parenting styles and am quite certain I'm doing a lot of it wrong. I am grumpy. I quite frequently shout, and I forget to test Boy1 on his times tables. I threaten to hoover up small toys.* I think my kids are hilarious, but I also love it when they've gone to bed. I'm also well aware that it's all too easy to be very boring about your offpsring. [or pets, for those who haven't procreated. Yes, Captain Fluffypants looks very adorable sleeping on the sofa. As he did in the last 97 photos you put up]
I'm amazingly impressed by people who can really make things. Crocheting a dress. Knitting. Making trousers out of curtains and curtains out of trousers. Furnishing an entire doll's house from lolly sticks. Painting. [However if you crochet a terrifying baby doll I will share it on Facebook and sleep with the light on.] I'll keep putting up my silly craft cheats and glue-gun capers, but I think the fact that one of my most searched projects is a necklace made from two bits of lego says something uncomplimentary about my skill level. I'd like to do more art, it was one of my favourite occupations as a moody teen, although I'm not sure what I'd do with a whole load of charcoal daubings of Kurt Cobain these days.
I like funny. I love music and films and books and laughing about people in the public eye. I like travelling and discovering new places but spending most of my time in cafes and the museum shop. I like the crazy things that normal people make, do and sometimes try to sell on the internet. This is the kind of stuff I like writing about. I would like to meet some more of you this year and not be scared that you'll think I'm not...I don't know, enough. Young enough, old enough, thrifty enough, made up enough, stylish enough. Fuck it. I'll be me. And hopefully that will be enough.
Lakota x
PS. For bloggers who do write well about kids, craft, style, every day life - see my sidebar. <<<<<<<
And cos it's self-indulgent time, here's some of my favourite posts from the last year.
Frog Princess - body image, photoshop fails and the 'compliments' of kids
Hello...is it me you're looking for? Following on from last week's brief addiction to YouTube, here's another way to waste your life 5 minutes if you're bored. Finding out which celebrity you look like! Remember how horrified you were that time a drunk old man in Wetherspoons told you that you look just like a character from Coronation Street? The one with a face like a slapped arse and 20 years on you? Or the momentary thrill when your ex-boyfriend told you looked a bit like Mylene Klass? If it was dark and she'd put on 3 stone? Well, why not relive those moments with me and upload your photo to this utterly useless website I found recently?
Here it is - the Celebrity Look Alike Generator - or as I prefer to call it, the 'Which balding old man do you least resemble? Generator'. Choose your latest least hideous photograph - aka Facebook profile pic - and let the magical face recognition gremlins do their work. Want to see?
Wow. I can't believe no-one ever mentioned how much I look like Michael Bloomberg, 70 year old mayor of New York City. Or star of Jaws, and rakish moustache wearer Richard Dreyfuss. I had no idea who the last dude was, but apparently Joseph Biden was the 47th Vice-President of the United States. Sorry Joe. And he's 70 as well. I mean, seriously?? No Richard Gere? No George Clooney? Sheesh, if I MUST be a silver fox I'd even take Philip Schofield over this lot. Ok, I did get Melanie Griffith as well, but I'm not considering that as much improvement.
Maybe it's a recent phenomenon? Perhaps turning 36 has turned me from a fresh faced nubile young thing into celebrity Grandpa. I'll try a photo from a few years ago:
FFS! Now I'm bald as well!
Ok, Richard Dreyfuss again. But in a very slightly different pose. That means I must look like him. [Note to self: buy Veet.] The only woman in the world who looks like Bruce Willis is his daughter Rumer, so we can assume that's a glitch in the matrix. But Rudolph Giuliani? As well as Michael Bloomberg? Well, spank my ass and call me mayor! It must be my DESTINY. I'm headed out for my first trip to the Big Apple next June - I'm guessing they're going to vote me right in.
*******
I fared a little bit better on Face Double, as at least I wasn't told I was a man. I was however matched with either black or Latina celebs, which is not a problem aside from the fact that my skin tone, hair and eyes all scream 'pasty white English girl'. I can see that with our round hamster cheeks stunning beauty we might have something in common, but otherwise I can't say anyone is ever likely to get me and Gabrielle Union confused. [What do you mean 'Who's Gabrielle Union?'. She was in Bring it On as head cheerleader of the Clovers. Like, duh.]
I can't say I'd be at all upset to be mistaken for America Ferrera either. That's assuming they were thinking of her as she actually looks in real life, and not this version:
Yeah, I'm not publishing the pictures of me with a fringe, just in case.
It's me...Ugly Betty!
*******
Basically, I think I have an old-school look. Celebs of today just don't gel with my style. I'm crap at hair much beyond a ponytail, so I'm not a blogger you'll see rocking pincurls or a beehive. Thank goodness for Yearbook Yourself. Check yourself out as you would have been from the 1950s to 2000.
1952
1958
1992
What a timeless beauty, huh?
Lakota x
PS. I appear to have killed my laptop. I've been keeping up with everyone on my phone, and this post was done on the aged computer, but sorry for the lack of comments. I believe I've mentioned electrical appliances' short lives around me before - this is why I rarely hoover.
PPS. Oh, and link up anyway. I will read, honest! And tell me who you look like - I insist.
My husband is away again. He's in India for a fortnight. This basically means I revert to my baseline state of being, which is that of a 14 year old, only without the One Direction obsession and sucked in cheeks Facebook profile pic. The children still get to fed and taken to school, but there's a lot more eye-rolling and big sighs about how unfair it is. Then I come home, refuse to make my bed and watch urban street-dance movies until it's time to pick them up again.*
Anyway, when I get tired of perving over Channing Tatum - kidding! like that would ever happen - I turn to the natural refuge of the terminally bored, YouTube. Aah, YouTube - where all those racist Yahoo News commenters start out. Home of the cute cat, impossibly beautiful Filipina makeup vlogger, and stupid people attempting to eat cinnamon from a spoon. [look up 'cinnamon challenge'.]
So, here's the videos which have made me snort diet coke out my nose the most over the last couple of days. Some are new finds, some are old favourites.
YETI - I can't describe how genius I think this is. But then I have a childish sense of humour. Someone has lip-read Coldplay's 'In my Place' and come up with completely new lyrics which fit the movement of Chris Martin's mouth. Then recorded the song. And it's the best work Coldplay have never done.
"I called but you ran to the forest..."
HALLOWEEN LIGHTSHOW - GANGNAM STYLE - Has Psy's catchy like herpes Korea pop outstayed its welcome yet? Hell no. Not when you can have your whole house singing along. OK, so I would hate to live opposite someone like this - our neighbour's security light alone makes me twitchy - but I can appreciate it from a distance of approximately 3000 miles and my laptop.
CAT VS PRINTER - THE TRANSLATION - Old, but so good. And sweary. Sorry kids.
Give me links. I have nine more days til he gets home. And have a great weekend.
I got a new phone recently. It's a smart, um Galaxy android, er thingy with added finger prints. Yeah, touch screen. Great. Another thing besides my children to look smeared and reproachful. Anyway, instead of using my phone like a normal blogger and getting obsessed with making my dinner look like it was cooked in 1973 - I have instead become addicted to trying to make the voice recognition software understand me.
Is this thing on?
Unlike Siri on the iPhone, this voice recognition doesn't do anything as advanced as answer questions. It's merely another way to send texts. You can type each letter, have predictive turned on, 'swoosh' with your finger over the keypad - or, simply speak your message into the microphone. What could be easier? Ha!
[My accent is apparently deemed 'posh', despite my being born and brought up in the Welsh valleys. I don't speak like the Queen or anything though, honest. Think more reader of Jackanory back in the day. But with added swearing.] To my mobile however, it appears I'm as incomprehensible as Rab C Nesbitt is to anyone outside of Glasgow.
So, check out these opening lines to classic and popular literature and see if you can guess what they are. I'll put the answers and the actual extracts at the bottom of the post.
*******
1. "If you really want to hear about it, miss a thing or pub tonight if I was born, I love child with like, how my pants off I dunno if I have me know what days."
Er, right. This was my first attempt. Sounds like Underworld lyrics. I decide to try again and things go completely Eddie Izzard.
"If you ever set something up for me today as well phone mobile as a child bike hedgehog"
This is not quite how I remember the much lauded coming of age novel about an American adolescent. Let's try an easier one.
*******
2. "Nicholas deadly, of number 4 privet drive, how to say thank you. Super cala fragilis expect involved in a thing pringle mysterious, because it is the deposit"
Ok, so it got the vital identifying address. But the rest was pretty muggled. And I'm sure that's someone else's spell.
*******
3. "University college Superman versus good fortune in London."
This does actually sound like a book precis. Just not the right one.
*******
4. "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again"
Whoop! Success at last. Anyway, you've hooked me with that opening line Daphne, what happened next?
"Sing me a good idea I'm leaving drive and for wireless sensor for the way back to me"
O-kaay. We'll keep your idea on file Ms DuMaurier. Thanks for coming in!
*******
5. "Nuttin much does a hair dye - Eritrean enough in the last few months - even if I had not much is it like this."
Not a book about an African girl's struggle with her unruly locks. But hugely popular nonetheless.
*******
How did you do? It's not just me who has these issues with technology, right? Have you got this on your phone? Have a go!
Lakota x
PS. 3 posts in one week - check me out!
[answers below]
"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it." The Catcher in the Rye "Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you'd expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn't hold with such nonsense." Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife." Pride and Prejudice "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. It seemed to me I stood by the iron gate leading to the drive, and for a while I could not enter, for the way was barred to me." Rebecca "I'd never given much thought to how I would die - though I'd had reason enough in the last few months - but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this." Twilight
Haiku
Mum at the school gates,
Do you know that your leggings
are see through? Guess not.
Anti-social
I don’t want to eat in your virtual café
(Your ‘about me’ says you’re 43)
Adding o’s does not make something funnier – LOOOOL!
And you can’t use apostrophe’s.
I don’t care that it rained on your washing
I don’t care what you’re having for tea
I’m beginning to think you’re a racist
And I’m not sure that Facebook’s for me.
Just a quick post, but I had to share this. I got such great feedback on my Frog Princess post - some of the comments really made me laugh and there were obviously a few of you wincing in recognition. Anyway, if you're currently suffering the critical eye of your offspring, read this and remember that occasionally they make up for it. Boy 1 (age 7) had started writing this in his 'topic book' as I was writing the post, but today I got to see it completed. The subject is 'I am thankful for...' and all idiosyncratic spelling and phrasing is his own!
"I am thankful for my beautiful mother because she always makes my dinner. She also engcoureges me to do things I'm to scared to do. She made me and brought me to earth in her special way*. Only using her magnificent body"
I fear that 'only using my magnificent body!' may become my catch phase of choice whenever I'm asked how I've done something - worthy of a slogan t-shirt don't you think?
I googled and discovered that I share this accolade with a collection by an American poet, Christina Hendricks and former Spice Girl Mel B, although Boy1 hadn't chosen any of these to illustrate his pronouncement. Instead it was accompanied by a picture of me looking like I'd fallen asleep in the tropics following a chemical peel; apparently there wasn't a light pink pencil. Sadly I can't reproduce it here as his book needs to stay in class. But thank-you sweetheart, I appreciate it. And it's spag-bol for dinner tonight.
Lakota x
*He was made and 'brought to earth' in the usual way. We're not from Krypton or anything.
Did you read Lucy's recent post about self-esteem and body image? Krista then followed up with her own honest piece about her reasons for having breast enhancement surgery some years ago. In Krista's case, it was her then boyfriend who triggered the onset of feeling less comfortable with her appearance. Lucy suggests that we seem to have an innate ability to remember and extrapolate 'truth' from a single negative comment, whereas any number of compliments are instantly forgotten, or dismissed as mere politeness. Krista's response to one comment from her ex would seem to bear this out.
I also agree that despite many many opinion pieces on the subject - and the very existence of the vile misogynistic rag which is the Daily Mail"Look! This woman has aged in the 30 years since she made that film where she looked sexy! Let's ridicule her!"- the blame for my own vacillating self esteem cannot be placed at the feet of the media. I'm not an idiot, and thankfully not in the public eye. Whilst I'm aware that my pasty pins would look infinitely better with a tan, I have never felt the urge to sport a complexion which is two parts Tango to three parts Ronseal. And I think we're all aware by now that magazines and ad agencies use and abuse Photoshop in their cover girl hatchet jobs. Some are beyond ridiculous - the people at Ralph Lauren are obviously so inured to his own er, individual look, that a model's hair being twice the width of her waist could be overlooked with ease:
whereas others do take a second glance. I have no idea who Mariska Hargitay is, but I'm pretty sure she's a beautiful woman, who doesn't actually have the proportions of a Blythe doll reflected in a fun-house mirror:
No, I don't blame the media. I occasionally succumb to the glossy lure of Grazia when I'm in Tescos and the kids are nagging for some over-priced kids mag with a shabby plastic toy on the front, but I always regret it afterwards. Not because I'm sobbing at the fact I'll never look like Cheryl Cole, but because the cover story is such a non-event. 'My new body' exclusives are beyond tedious at the best of times [we get it, you used your millions to pay for a personal trainer, or you got lipo. Yawn] but this isn't even a story of flab to fab. This is the same thin famous woman, continuing to look famous and thin. Just in a different outfit. If I'd bought this, I'd only have my own defective reasoning abilities to blame.
I'm not denying that Cheryl has a 'killer body' in the main photograph,
but she appears have exactly the same one in the inset picture. Surely she got 'from this, to THIS' merely by taking her T-shirt off and swapping her trousers for some leopard print knickers?
THERE'S NOTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT HER!
Feelunique.com's mock-up of 'the perfect woman', having asked shoppers about their most admired parts of female celebrities. "She has Angelina Jolie’s pillow lips, Megan Fox’s perfectly shaped eyebrows and The Duchess of Cambridge’s long glossy hair". She also has a neck to rival the Karen hill-tribe 'giraffe' women of Thailand, but strangely that's not mentioned...
So who do I blame, if not these ludicrous magazines or societal pressure? It's my children. Seriously. Is it not enough that pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding wreak all kinds of havoc on your hitherto peachy body? Apparently not. I wouldn't mind, but mine also feel the need to point out the damage they’ve inflicted. Yeah, you supermodels or new mummy bloggers can describe your c-section scars or stretch marks as ‘badges of honour’ as much as you like, but you’re not fooling me. After 36 hours of labour and emergency abdominal surgery I didn’t want a badge of honour. I wanted a fucking medal and 3 weeks in the Caribbean to recuperate. And now I’d like a boob-lift and a bottom which isn’t like a ‘wibble wobble jelly’ please. [direct quote from Boy2. Although whilst we were in Scotland he appeared as I was getting dressed and had apparently changed his diagnosis. Instead, my bottom was "very wrinkly. Like because you've been in the bath". I hadn't. I think I preferred his original opinion]
Yes, whilst I’ve somehow managed to spawn children with the looks of Botticelli cherubs – they’re not even adopted – regrettably they possess a level of tact somewhere between Simon Cowell and Janice Dickinson from America's Next Top Model. Once you become a mother, the mere act of singing in the shower – once a simple pleasure, tolerated by an indulgent boyfriend – is now likely to be punctuated by a small child observing you critically through the curtain and saying something like “Are you doing a wee Mummy? It looks like it. You’re making my ears hurt. I need to do a poo”. On one memorable occasion I was asked "is your willy poking out?” When I replied in the negative and explained that girls and ladies didn’t have willies, he replied triumphantly – “Just balls!”.
Hmm, which would you say was wobblier? Mummy's bottom or dessert?
And don't think it's just my post-baby body which comes under scrutiny. When their gimlet gaze is lifted from my nether regions for a moment, I am treated to reminders about my need to buy pore-minimising cream "Your nose has little holes" and to keep up with a more regular schedule of depilation "You're all prickly!". At least my boobs are deemed "nice and fat", which I think is a compliment. Though Grandad was less pleased when his were noted.
Oh, but there was the time that Boy2 turned to me and said, "You look beautiful Mummy". I preened a little and began to thank him, whereupon he finished "Beautiful as a frog!". I guess to a three year old that could be considered high praise - I do get a lot of kisses after all.
Me.
Do you have any children in your life? Are you the Princess or the frog in theirs?
Despite my somewhat derisive post back in January about New year's resolutions, the fact remains that I am a girl who loves a list. I always have a notebook with me, and in addition to ideas for the blog, and random lyrics I've scribbled down so I can google them later and find out the name of the song, there'll invariably be a page that looks something like this:
milk, bread, tomatoes, flour
pay in cheque
Easter bonnets - chicks - Poundland?
library books back
use up squishy bananas - cake?
PTA meeting - 7.30
New baby present
photographs for blog post
buy travel insurance
clean fish tank
Thrilling, eh? However, for ages now I've been meaning to write a list of things that wouldn't just keep day to day life ticking over, but would actually enhance it - things I want to do in this year, and the years beyond. It's easy enough to think 'oh yes, I'd love to do that', but I find unless things get written down they don't get acted on. The beginning of Spring is always a far better time to make decisions than the depths of Winter, and I've had 3 months since new year to give the matter some proper thought! I want the beautiful Frankie magazine journal I won in Kylie's giveaway to have some exciting plans and amazing memories written in it - not just shopping lists and reminders that the boys need new shoes.
Isn't it gorgeous? All the pages are beautifully designed, and I love the little touches like the perforated calling cards, the ribbon bookmark and the pocket at the back for tickets and receipts and so on.
Anyway, here's my 12 things to attempt in 2012 (or the next twelve months if need be) - there's nothing too earth shattering here, just things I'd like to do which it should be realistic for a mother of slender means to achieve. And there's no New Year style deprivation either - I've had quite enough of that now I'm done with Lent.
1. Read 100 books this year - you can see how I'm doing with this on Goodreads
2. Go to a city/country I haven't been to before.
3.Date night once a month with husband. As espoused by every magazine ever. Hard to achieve in reality.
4. Learn to make proper jewellery ie. not sticking stuff to myself with glue
5. Actually attempt fancy biscuit decorating from 'Biscuiteers' book I got for Christmas
(if nothing else it may make a humorous blog post)
6. Keep in touch with friends better
7. Crochet something larger than a granny square
8. Get published somewhere other than my blog
9. Buy MORE clothes!
10. Try to make it to more boot-sales.
11.Start drawing again
12. Keep going with the blog and try to improve it - better photos for a start.
Some of these are from my 40 before 40 list,* which is in danger of becoming merely a list of hotels and travel destinations. We're actually all off to Scotland shortly for four nights in Edinburgh - when Sandy posted that she was going it reminded me that it's been on my mental 'go-to' list for years. So I can tick off number 2 - Edinburgh and Scotland itself will both be firsts! Any tips?
Do you have any plans for the year? Any new year's resolutions fallen by the wayside or worked out brilliantly?
Lakota x
*I'd just like to make it clear that it'll be before 36, 37, 38, and 39 too. It's just that the others aren't nearly so catchy.
Yes, it's a bit of a rarity round here to find me taking part in Frock on a Friday - not because I don't love frocks, I do - but because I loathe having my photograph taken. Whether or not a piece of my soul is lost remains to be seen, but I figure you can't be too careful. Anyway, I decided it was worth battling the camera demons to enter Ceri's amazing competition over at Style Eyes, and decided to wear my most recent vintage purchase - two posts for the price of one. You might have seen entrants strutting their stuff with somewhat more élan on other blogs - the idea is to showcase an outfit with an ethical element to it - whether second hand, bought from a free-trade/eco-friendly label, handmade or recycled.
Yeah, squinting into the sun is so flattering...
Outfit details
70s maxi - eBay
belt - charity shop in Ireland
denim jacket - swapped
vintage clip on earring worn as brooch - found in attic
vintage wedge shoes - stolen from mum
30s earrings - charity shopped
Indian glass bracelets - bought by husband in Hydrabad
seed necklace - bought by me (direct from maker) in Thailand
Nail varnish - China Glaze 'Gothic Lolita' + Barry M 'hologram'
(neither tested on animals)
This was not what I wore to the park this afternoon with Boy2 - it would not have stood up to all the dinosaur fighting and tree climbing he insisted on. However, it is what I changed into when I got home - school's out and so was the sun!
Oh, and in an ever more bonkers turn of events, I've also got a nomination for 'Blog of the Year' in the MAD awards. So, y'know - feel free to nominate me again! That one appears to have actual prizes.
Wow, thanks so much for all your replies on my blogger quiz - that was the most popular post in a while!
If you enjoyed that post, I wonder if I could ask you again to vote for me? Thanks to your nominations, Faith Hope and Charity Shopping has actually made the short-list for a BritMums 'BiB' Award [Brilliance in Blogging - their words not mine] - in the 'LAUGH' category - and well, it would be pretty cool to be in the finals. I don't have a gazillion twitter followers and very few people in my day to day life know about the blog, so if you could take the time to vote I'd really appreciate it. It's very quick and you don't need to enter any personal details - just tick the box and submit. You'll need to scroll down to the 'LAUGH' category, it's the 11th award. Thanks!
It's been another busy week with Boy2's birthday and party this time. When I gave up alcohol for Lent I had somehow failed to consider the fact that it encompasses both children's birthdays. Won't be making that mistake again! Neither will I inflict more of my cake making efforts on you here, but if you do want to see what my attempt at a pirate treasure chest looked like then there are pictures on my Facebook page. And for those of you who follow my blog page on FB - have you seen the competition I've got running at the moment? You can win a copy of Junk for Joy by Sian Berry - with all kinds of makeover and upcycling ideas, perfect for Spring.
Hope you're all enjoying the sunshine.
Thanks in advance for any votes - I won't be boring about it, honest.
Lakota x
EDIT: At the risk of being really tedious and completely negating my last sentence I have just discovered from Twitter that I have been nominated for 'Blog of the Year' in the MADs as well. I have no idea how this works, I think I would need lots more nominations for the remotest chance at this one but as there is actual MONEY and a holiday up for grabs I suppose I should at least mention it :-)
I will put a badge on the sidebar, and if you feel like clicking then please do and I will love you always. (I thought this one was really for child-centric blogs only, but it appears that my occasional sarcastic mention of the offspring and my dire birthday cake efforts loving words about the children may actually count for something. Why are there no awards specifically for snark and sporadic charity shop treasure? Perhaps I will start one. Who's with me?
Right, I hope you're ready for a long post. This tag has been going round for a while, and I've been got three times, so there are a lot of questions I've had to answer. If you aren't nosy - ha! - or don't see how I can possibly be that fascinating, there are a couple of videos in there to keep you entertained.
1. Are you a morning or a night person?
Much as it would be good to be a morning person, after 7 years of early wake ups I'm still rubbish at getting out of bed.
2. Have you ever stolen anything (be honest I won't set the law on you)
It's not big or clever to steal ashtrays or glasses from pubs. It's even less big and clever to half-inch an entire bar stool. Well, maybe it's quite clever. I didn't really carry a handbag in those days. Sorry, former landlord of The White Hart.
3. What is your favourite word?
I'm an English graduate, I should say something impressive. Maybe anthropomorphism? Or ellipses... In reality, most over-used is probably 'bollocks'.
4. What can't you live without?
Books, internet access, kids (mine), decaf coffee, music.
5. Who/what do you have an irrational dislike of?
This was hard. All my dislikes are completely rational. I used to despise 'Lady' Victoria Hervey and her smug horse face, but she seems to no longer be in every magazine I ever open. She's been replaced in my chart of dislike by Peaches Geldof. Frank Skinner. *shudder*. Alex Ferguson and that disgusting dead eyed gum chewing he does. Strictly Come Dancing. Not even thinking about the dopes who crash about on it, just the title gives me the rage. Even more annoying when shortened to 'Strick-ly!' by gormless mouth breathers. Talc. Specifically the amount used by my husband and how he wafts it all over the bathroom. You could make talc-angels in there, seriously.
6. Where is your favourite place to eat out?
I don't go for eating out in the same way most people do. I mean, I enjoy going out with people, that side of it - but I'd rather have a home-cooked meal than restaurant food. Too much cream and butter makes me feel ill. I prefer lots of wine, someone's spotify playlist and spag bol.
7. Who is the cleverest person you know?
I'm not sure, I know a lot of interesting people. It depends how you judge it.
8. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Was it any good? The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the Hollywood version. It was ok, although I thought Daniel Craig was pretty dull. He just played Daniel Craig, with glasses. The James Bond-esque opening credits were cool, mind you, and I liked Rooney Mara. The book is better.
9. What is your guilty TV pleasure?
Gossip Girl. Totally ridiculous. XOXO. Oh, and the early audition stages of X-Factor.
10. Where did you last go on holiday?
Malta.
11. What makes you go "GAHHHHHHHHHHHH"?
Walking into a previously tidy room and finding toys EVERYWHERE. The fact that so many people want to be - and are - famous for being orange and vacuous. Facebook 'scare' updates from people who have no 'is this utter crap?' filter. People using LOL as punctuation. Word verification on blogs. Turn it off, turn it off, TURN IT OFF!
1. What is your favourite dessert?
Too hard to pick one! Best quick one I make is ice-cream, banana, flaked almonds and a home-made hot caramel sauce.
2. If you could live in any decade which would it be and why?
Ooh I dunno, quite happy with what I've lived through so far. Assuming I avoided the black death and Great Fire of London, it might have been fun to be a scandalous court lady at the time of Charles II.
3. What is your favourite Disney film?
I'm not one of these people who will argue passionately for one over another, I'm not really into princesses and Elton John tunes. Toy Story was very good though.
4. Who is your favourite historical person and why?
Hmm, Elizabeth I. Kick ass Queen who held her own in a man's world.
5. What is your favourite book? The Outsiders. Reading it as an adult I can see the flaws but I loved it growing up. The Secret History, amazing.
For proper excitement which you rarely find in adult books, YA books 'The Hunger Games' trilogy. Read now before the film comes out!
6. If you were given £1000 to spend in any one place, where would you choose?
Probably a massive weekend antiques fair. Although I wouldn't say no to a grand to spend in Mulberry [would probably get me one bag and a keyring these days]
7. What is your favourite childhood memory?
Standing in a stream next to our gypsy caravan in the Lake District, playing with a margarine tub boat with my sister, my dad lighting the camp-fire to cook Cumberland sausage and new potatoes for dinner.
8. If you could hold a dinner party with only 2 other guests (dead or alive, celebrity or historical) who would you choose?
Well that would be me, my husband and Tim Minchin. Cosy! We've already decided we'd be best friends if we actually met. Obviously. Or if the Mr wasn't available, then Elizabeth the First could join us. We'd drink a lot of wine and get demanding, insisting that Tim serenade us and threatening to execute him if he wasn't funny enough.
9. What would you choose to be your last supper?
Jambalaya with chicken and chorizo. And a boxset of Prison Break.
10. Name one beauty product you couldn't live without
This is where some po-faced supermodel says 'water'. Honestly, if the government suddenly banned make-up in some dystopian future where everyone HAD to be bare-faced, I wouldn't care that much. It's nice to wear on an evening out, but I can't imagine being someone who has to wear mascara to nip out and buy milk. I guess I'd miss nail varnish, as I see my hands more than my face.
11. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be and why?
I'm not sure I've found it yet. I'd like to try living in lots of places, assuming I could 'work' in a Carrie Bradshaw kind of way involving a few lines on my laptop occasionally.
1. Your favourite pizza topping?
As many things as can possibly be crammed on - ham, olives, pineapple, peppers, chicken, pepperoni, extra cheese...
2. Your happiest childhood memory?
See Sandy's question above. Another one would be the Summer (well, it was a week, but felt like a Summer) I spent with my friend Felicity after she'd moved away from where we grew up. That'd be a whole post in itself.
3. What you think when you smell vanilla?
My perfume [Angel] is vanilla based. Makes me think of Paris, where I first bought it.
4. When was the last time you had hiccups and how did you cure them?
I get hiccups ALL the time, I don't bother trying to get rid of them any more. If I get them once in a day, I'll definitely get them again. I'm used to it, but secretly worrying about one day being this person:
5. What you're currently reading? Wonder, by R. J, Palacio. Set to be the new 'Curious Incident', according to The Times. It's about a little boy with a severe facial deformity who starts school for the first time at the age of ten, and how he deals with the reactions of other people - peers and adults.
6. Inny or outie?
I don't even know any more, pregnancy has done weird things.
7. Your biggest fear?
Nuclear holocaust (thanks kids' books of the 80s), hideous disease pandemics (thanks scary films of the 00s) being eaten by sharks, anything bad happening to my children, including the previous things I mentioned.
8. Your favourite song and why?
Again too many to pick just one, different songs remind me of different eras in my life, as I imagine they do for most people. 'Unfinished Sympathy' by Massive Attack is right up there though. It's a Bristol thing.
9. Something you regret?
Not practising the piano more when I was kid.
10. Your favourite item of clothing?
For consistency in my life, one or other of my leather jackets of the day.
11. Somebody you admire and why?
J. K. Rowling. She was a single parent, had the discipline to write every day and became massively successful. She also (quietly) gives loads of money to charity.
********
I was also supposed to share 11 random facts about myself but frankly my brain has seized up and I don't want to bore you to tears, so I'll leave you with the snippet that I secretly think I'd be really good in a rap battle - you know, like Eminem in 8 Mile. So don't be dissing me, dawg.
However, I have managed to think of some questions of my own as the tag dictates, so if you haven't done it yet and would like to answer mine, feel free, and give me a shout when you've done them. Otherwise I tag Lucewoman, Confused Brit Girl, Sian Lile, Middle Aged Drama Queen, Sarah Misfit, La Sophia, A Thrifty Mrs and MissieLizzie.
My questions:
1. Favourite game you played as a kid a) at home b) at school?
2. Personality trait which secretly really irritates you in a close friend or partner?
3. You get to choose one TV channel only - what do you go for?
4. Would you rather be really beautiful, or really funny? Why?
5. What's your Native American totem animal?
6. Which fictional character do you most relate to?
7. Music which you couldn't be paid to listen to?
8. Who would play you in the film version of your life story?
9. Best band you've ever seen live?
10. Most annoying thing about blogging or bloggers?
11. What is or would be your Superhero talent?
Lakota x
PS. I am now the proud owner of a genie lego minifigure!
Hi folks, sorry I've been a bit quiet so far this month. Some real life stuff of various kinds has been keeping me busy, one of which is wishing all kinds of doom on the person who pulled out of our house moving chain the day before we were supposed to exchange contracts. Really, thanks for that. We didn't need any of that money, or the have anything better to do with the last 6 months of our lives. If it wasn't for the annoyingly prevalent American usage of the term 'a lego' - I'd be tempted to spend my evenings making this, and then send it to her as a parting gift. Every evil lair needs cross-stitch on its wall.
Or perhaps I should just channel my rage into a few blog posts. I'm sure there must be something else that's annoyed me recently. [For thrilling updates on my mood swings, see Facebook.]
Anyway, you're all lovely. I shall be visiting your blogs and catching up soon. Just don't be posting about your new house.
Hello. Why thank you, yes, I have had my hair done. I thought I should make an effort, what with it being the first anniversary of Faith Hope and Charity Shopping. Whoop![Ok, actually it was a few days ago, and I'd written most of this post, and then got so distracted by joining Goodreads, and er, reading actual books, that I forgot. But for the purposes of this narrative, it's today!]
Yup, a whole year and a bit since I started this blog, and the only New Year's resolution which I actually stuck to in 2011. Obviously I'm speaking for myself here, but from my point of view it was definitely one worth keeping. The last year has got me firmly back into regular writing, not to mention getting to know so many fantastic, funny and talented bloggers. [Too many to mention individually, but a lot of them are on my sidebar]. If you've been here from the beginning you'll know it's changed a little from the early days of posting where I just chatted about my second hand buys, but I couldn't resist letting a teeny bit of snark in, once I got more comfortable. Tongue is always firmly in cheek though, and of course there'll always a place for talking about charity shop treasure.
You might also have noticed that it takes me a little while to get around to things, but there is a bit of method in my madness as a terminal procrastinator. The lovely Erica Louise of Recycled Fashion challenged me to answer these questions about my blog back in August (oops), but I like to wait for an opportune moment, and now seems like a good time to do a little retrospective of the past 12 months.
The most beautiful post
Not really my strong suit. I do try but my photographs are far from Etsy-fied. I don't really edit them and you'll rarely see an artfully draped doily or tower of soft focus pastel macaroons on this blog. Sorry. There's some good London street art on this post though. Oh, and I'm still in love with the earring display case I made, which looks beautiful in my bedroom.
The most popular post
Okaay, well this one isn't going to be a big surprise. According to my extremely scientific analysis of my stats, the post with the all time highest page views would be...drumroll...the second Magic and Madness of eBay post, I like big butts! Admittedly I didn't realise when I wrote about eBay sellers who claimed to be able to deliver the body beautiful by sorcery quite how many people would find the post. And just how many of them would be typing with one hand. Aah, 'Booty'. It's the magic word for page hits. Work it in there somewhere!
But alright, whilst I really love that post, I admit it garnered most of the page hits from random admirers of the female form, not from regular readers. So, second to that in page views - but with many many more comments, was the post I wrote on Mollie Makes magazine, and its overwhelming tweeness editorial obsession with fake food.
The most controversial post
Hmm, see above! I actually got a comment from the editor of Mollie Makes on that post, which was pretty exciting. Otherwise maybe the post I wrote about finding a Galliano dress, not long after he was convicted of racial abuse.
The most helpful post
Er, not sure about this one. Obviously if you'd been thinking about giving all your money to a charlatan with an paypal account then maybe I'd have been of some assistance with the eBay posts. Or if you had a ton of wild plums and no idea what to do with them then the homemade vodka post might have been your saviour. I'm not sure I'm massively helpful otherwise. Hopefully I've given you a laugh occasionally.
The post that was surprisingly successful
The Faith Hope and Charity swapping posts, definitely. I didn't really realise quite how popular the idea of swapping was in blog land, despite having seen them advertised elsewhere. I expected a handful of responses from regular commenters, so I was amazed at how many people wanted to take part.
The post that did not get the attention it deserved
Probably this one. Who doesn't want a genie to create them a clone? I know I do.
The post that I am most proud of
I don't want to play favourites - they're ALL my babies! - but maybe Memento Mori. Art, death and the cross-dressing Edwardian childhood of my Great-Grandad George.
Anyway, if you've got this far, thanks for humouring me. Whether you're a long time reader or a new follower I'm really glad you're here. [And if you're new, say hi]. I'll be doing a giveaway or two soon, it's been too long and this seems like as good a reason as any. And consider yourself tagged, if you want to answer these questions yourself.
