Tuesday 26 June 2012

Ta-dah! Tuesday - Felt Flower Make, and where not to shop


I've been a bad blogger again this week. I'm not entirely sure where it's gone but I know it involved the realisation that children have an unerring ability to spend eight hours in central London stuffing their faces, yet somehow save all their vomit until they reach the first carpeted space in your home. [The stairs, all of four seconds from my front door. Clearly I need to teach him how to puke in Leicester Square like Mummy used to a tourist.] I would recommend you avoid the Turkish Delight/Pizza Express kids' meal combo and stick to laughing at the skateboarders stacking it on the South Bank.

I have also had my tarot cards read by our very mystic chola bad-ass La Dama over at her new Etsy shop GoldenLuz. [Yes, world domination beckons for us both. Be afraid]. Oh, and I also met the world's rudest and quite possibly most insane shopkeeper. [No, not La Dama]. It was one of those occasions where you are completely blind-sided by someone's bizarre behaviour, up to the point that you have to keep checking you didn't accidentally kill their kitten.

Basically, if you're ever in Cecil Court, and your eye is caught by a shop called T. Alena Brett, don't begin, as I did, to look innocently through the 'antique prints' (aka bits of old newspaper with a mount) she has stacked in boxes outside her shop. It began with the owner coming out and huffily moving the box I was looking through (where she'd put it) slightly to the left, as "this is how the shop works"



"OK" I say, a bit bemused, and continue looking. She mutters something about boxes falling on me, and sounds put out with customers in general, and disappears back inside. Two complete strangers exchange glances with me and we all do the internationally recognised 'wtf?' shrug. 

I continue flipping through and find a 19th century horse-racing print I think my aunt and uncle might like. Mr FHCS and the kids turn up, but don't touch anything [Remember we're in the street anyway]. The owner re-materialises instantly, and starts ranting about how there are more prints in the window, and that she has a slipped disc, so can I move. I point out that I'm where she moved me, and that there's no need to shout at me. 

This sends her completely over the edge, and she snatches the print away from me, hissing that her father has just died and she doesn't need this, and she doesn't have to sell to me. She doesn't need to apparently, as she has "the most famous shop in London", and is so beloved that "people give her gifts" - pointing wildly at the amber necklace she's wearing. She gestures at the boys and says "AND I teach children in my shop! How about that?". At this point I appear to have entered an episode of Black Books (a UK show about a drunken misanthropic second-hand bookseller who hates actually selling any books)  but oddly it's less amusing when it's actually happening to you. We leave quickly in case she morphs into Basil Fawlty and starts goose-stepping down the street and shouting about the war.

Having come home and googled her, I found it's not just me she's taken exception to. I had been willing to give her the benefit of the doubt if she was recently bereaved - but from reading remarks from other people who've had run ins with her, she's been claiming the recent death of her father for at least two years! I guess her regular jewellery buying patrons are keeping the shop afloat, because she's certainly not wooing the passing trade!

Anyway, enough of how to make friends and influence people, and on to my make for the week. I got bored of watching England struggle to keep the ball the other night, so made myself this dahlia brooch instead. The original tutorial is by the very clever and crafty Megan Reardon over at Holidash, and if you click over there you'll notice that her version is far superior to mine. However, my latest attempt is a vast improvement on my first attempt, which looked more like a squashed red cabbage than a dahlia. I'm quite pleased with this latest hot pink version. [I didn't bother with making a pocket on the back to keep a picture of a loved one, cos that's just not how I roll. But you could, if you're sappy like that]. Pretty cool though, huh?

Felt Dahlia Corsage. With added bosom.

Do link up your latest makes and outfits and what have you, and let me know any other shops to avoid while you're at it. Please remember to link back to Ta-dah! Tuesday in your post.

Lakota x



PS. There's a jubilee linky here - please join up if you've finished your swap.

50 comments:

  1. Heehee! I'm off to google this strange woman and her shop. Love Black books ... do not think I would actually like to 'live' an episode though :/ I have linked up to your Tahdah Tuesday again, thank you x

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  2. Finally got my ass into gear to link up today! Gorgeous brooch, shame about the vom x

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  3. Oh Dear that women does sound a little unhinged bless her but its not good to shout at complete strangers especialy when you have your kids with you and not at all good for business im supprised she is still going. Love your pink corsage. Enjoy the rest of your week, dee x

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  4. Your Dahlia is beautiful Lakota.
    That shop keeper sounds as though she has a few issues...
    I can deal with a bit of vomit on the carpert, I picked up my darling eldest daughter from an innocent (yeah right!) sleep-over a couple of years ago, and she vomitted all over MY FACE! while I was driving her home. Carpet? Face? You choose...

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  5. What a different shop! wonder how she stays open. Your brooch is so pretty have a happy week sweetie

    Bee happy x
    Have a delicious day!

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  6. Brilliant post, as always. Had me laughing on a dreary day. The corsage is beautiful :o)

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  7. Haha, you really made me laugh. I just don't understand some people. If you're selling to the public you have to put on 'sales mode face', not have a hissy at them for innocently browsing. Weird.
    Nice corsage, tres pretty. x

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  8. Haha- what a surprise, she has a 1* review on Google! Haha! http://www.allinlondon.co.uk/directory/1277/3324.php

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  9. ooh that brooch is luuverly x

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  10. Oh wow, I need to go to this shop! This lady needs her own fly-on-the-wall documentary. I like the comment left on the link Perdita left, such a similar experience.
    I'm very proud of you for coming through the vomit and deluded shopkeeper ordeal with enough sanity to produce such a lovely brooch.

    Some floral corsages look a bit 'thrown' together and do not resemble a real flower at all! I have some felt,and my denim jacket needs brightening up, AND I need to stop snacking on junk in the evenings. This is the perfect project.

    Please go back to that shop and film it for us! I needed that funny story to cheer me up (even if it was far from funny for you at the time!).

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  11. What a delightful woman!
    I was once approached by the owner of an Arundel gift shop as I walked through the door and told to come back when I had won the lottery. I was flabberghasted and too taken aback to give a good retort. And my favourite antique type shop has the most appalling customer service, they act like they are doing you a favour opening. I once dared to ask to see something from a cabinet and honestly she started behaving like Kevin (or indeed Perry).

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  12. Oh I'd have loved to have met her! She and Bernard Black clearly graduated charm school in the same class :-) Magical. I must admit I'm rather fond of a good old grumpy shopkeeper, keeps life interesting!

    Jem xXx

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  13. Wow what a bizzare woman! Quite a strange shopping experience by the sounds of it, note to self- avoid.
    Great make, it sure does beat the footy xxx

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  14. Haha, what a fruitcake! On the plus side, your brooch is lovely x

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  15. She sounds absolutely awful, what a weird old woman.. she needs to be sectioned right away! Loons are not the best people to run a shop in my opinion!

    Love the brooch, it's so pretty! I'm currently waiting for some crafty bits and bobs to arrive in the post so I can put on my craft hat and get down and dirty.. crafting is the best thing to pass the time! xxx

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  16. oh dear..What a very odd shop lady indeed.
    I love your dahlia brooch..very pretty :)
    Have a lovely week..
    Magie x

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  17. ACK I know this shop and this woman -- she's a horror! Last time I was there was around two years ago with some friends looking for some old prints for their little girls room. She started in on us, and I (in true loud-mouthed American style) said "Stuff your prints! I've seen better quality at better prices elsewhere with pleasant staff." And then we left leaving her with her mouth hanging open not knowing what hit her! I always pass as there is a lovely book shop I frequent there and if I spot her, I say "No business again today?" Go ahead call me an evil bitch, she deserves it! Your dahlia brooch is divine, I think they are such lovely flowers, only I tend to kill them. ): I can grow roses and peonies galore but kill all dahlias! XXX Suzanne

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  18. Have made a mental note not to visit this shop! Love the flower corsage.

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  19. Beautifully written as usual. What a frightful encounter. I don’t like confrontations they leave me feeling decidedly unsettled. She clearly has mental health issues, but there is medication to help these days. I once had to deal with a cafe owner who shouted at my elderly father because he’d had the temerity to ask politely at the counter when he could expect the pasty he’d asked to be heated up half an hour ago. I witnessed this (as did all the other customers). When I went over to 'have a word’ he said “I’m sorry that had to happen.” ‘had to?’ Needless to say we never went there again.That was years ago but has stayed with me.

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  20. Fab flower, wow!! Puts my meagre efforts to shame! What a nightmare woman, seriously how can she be staying in business and selling anything??
    Can't link up this week, gremlins are telling me I 'haven't created a backlink', have tried 3 times :(

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  21. That is one gorgeous corsage, modelled to perfection.
    What a vile old biatch, reading Perdita's link I can't believe the old witch is still in business, I'd be too scared to visit, that's for sure. x

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  22. Oooh I want to go to that shop and see this mental woman with my own eyes! Sounds like an entertaining half hour.
    It makes you wonder how she keeps the business going if she's like that to her potential customers. Very funny though. Your posts do make me laugh, mrs!
    Lovely little corsage and you've made it really well. It looks all even and profeshunal. If I did that it would be all over the shop!
    I've linked up again this week. I like Ta Da Tuesdays, it gets me off my arse and makes me blog!
    x

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  23. Great work on the flower. I tired it last year and failed miserably.

    Now I'm not confrontational since I'm not quick with comebacks,but man for some reason I just want to quarrel with that shop keeper.

    You need to go back without your kids and irritate her. Touch more stuff, linger, grab things and carry them around for a bit then put them back. Tell her a well known dead person is dead, and you're not up for her crap either. Or pretend you're deaf, and can't hear her. Oh and take video of it all so we can see. :-)

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  24. Unbelievable!! Sounds mad as a hatter!
    Love the brooch. (I can't help but say that word in a Scottish accent)
    x

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  25. Unbelievable!! Sounds mad as a hatter!
    Love the brooch. (I can't help but say that word in a Scottish accent)
    x

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  26. Loved the old lady shop owner. There should be more of her, it would stop me spending our money on stuff. Hang on, I live in a place where there are no shops.

    Sadly, I cannot join your ta-dah moments either. i never make anything, except a garden. Don't suppose that counts.

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  27. That woman is a total loon, clearly. Owning a shop isn't the best career move if you actually don't like people - you have reminded me how fab Black Books is though, so every cloud! The reviews on Google are hilarious, particularly the one where she's dubbed 'Scrooge'.
    The brooch is bee-yoo-tiful.
    x

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  28. I want to go to that shop just to annoy her! I know, I'm a bad person, but it would be fun!

    Love your brooch, very pretty

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  29. It IS much funnier when it isn't happening to you - now I want to look up Black Books and watch an episode. We've all been in those shops, and met that woman! The corsage is breathtaking, btw.

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  30. I love how certain people manage their business, I'm sure that she's only a sadist that use her shop to give vent to her hatred, anyway you give me an amusing reading and I know that is easier when this has not happened to you!!
    I need to watch Black Books now! As you wrote me, having kids tv series are more easy to watch!The brooch is spectacular, I love this ta-dah tuesday more than ever!
    xxxxx

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  31. Is it wrong that I feel jilted out of all these crazy interactions with charity shop owners? This is pretty hilarious your commentary that is. I love your sense of humor Lakota! The hot pink dahlia is gorgeous but you boob even prettier :)
    XXOO
    Krista

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  32. What utter bizarreness from the store keeper. I've come across these situations before and it can be a hard thing to do to bite ones tongue if you've spotted they have some Defintely bargains.

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  33. What a freaking loca that lady was. I love getting into it with people in public. Especially if I'm already angry. Great release. Some people just forget how to smile so I have to laugh at them. I always get the last laugh. I comment about their outfit to my boyfriend later. Hmmm wonder what la dama found out about you...

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  34. what a weird-ass putona!
    Indeedy world domination is upon us..Oh be very afraid England!I was thinking I don't remember being rude to Lakota. ;)
    In those crazy car lady ,cases it is best to leave their store with kids,of course after talking shit to them.
    Your flor de Dhalia corsagebrooch is gorgeous as your chi chis.
    Besotesonyourchiches

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  35. Oh Bernard Black is my man! I hope I can link up with a proper crafty make soon. I'm so jealous of all these talented ladies xx

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  36. God what an evil old harridan. How on earth does she make any money? Bizarre.
    So you navigated your way past Mad Shop Owner from Hell, and then through vomit? What a day!
    Love your brooch (and the gratuitous cleavage shot, hurrah!) xxx

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  37. Just come to your blog from Sian Lile Makes, and wanted to say hi! I've just finished a crochet blanket so I thought I'd share. Oh, and your shop-keeper story made me giggle!

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  38. Ha ha! I love my weekly dose of Lakota wittiness! You are so funny! I always think that about children! That woman sounds mean!!!! I linked up with a post from last week if ok, I knew I wanted to link to your next Ta dah but the timing was slightly amiss! I've still linked from it!

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  39. I'm sorely tempted to book a flight to London, visit that woman's shop everyday and shout that I've had a vaginal prolapse, my lizard just died, then vomit on her carpet. I think if I do that for a week straight she might shut up shop forever. If that doesn't quite do it, I'll gift her some framed coloured pics of Number 2 Son's colonoscopy. Gorgeous tatas and dahlia!! xxx

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  40. What a great post! I'm extremely nonconfrontational, but I shall be in London in two weeks time & oh, the temptation.....!!! To anyone who hasn't seen 'Black Books'; you NEED to, it was brilliant.
    Your dahlia corsage is beautiful. As is the rest of the photo. Ahem. :)

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  41. Oh the dahlia is gorgeous!!!! Love it.
    That woman or old bag, sounds like she has been in retail a tad to long!!!! Way to long!!!!
    Love v

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  42. Oh golly! Your shopping experience sounds too awful, but also very funny! Had to look the shop's website up and now have a plan to visit and leave little notes in amongst the prints and books mentioning the poor use of apostrophes and capital letters contained therein...
    Lovely brooch! Hope the carpet cleaned up well!
    x

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  43. Morning, mrs, quick reply to your candle question over at mine and thanks for your comment too! I had a little google and there are companies that make odd sized candles. Gawd knows how much you'd end up paying for those though.I think some places even make them to fit the size you want... there's an idea, try making your own! There must be a way, I know I wouldn't be able to do it but you might, you're ever so good at fiddly stuff. It's annoying when things are made that don't fit standard sizes though. I have a candle holder thing, (my mate laughed when I bought it and said it would be something she would be trying to get rid of. She knows nothing,) and I've never bought a candle yet that sits in the holders without leaning all the place over as if it's been on a good night out.
    Good luck anyway, I'm sure you'll find some.
    x

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  44. Aah, I just tweeted you to say your comment box isn't working and now it is! So I'll say it again - loving the felt flower. You may have inspired me to give it a go - will let you know how I get on!

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  45. Wow, that is Black Books weird! How very, very strange!! (I recently got a 'row' from a woman serving in the cafe on a train for only having a £20 note... she really rants at me and I was so bemused by it all! People are weird sometimes!)

    Love the flower! (And eekk to the epic puke!!)

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  46. Oh what an experience you had. Geesh! I'd probably be gone in just a second after noticing something is not right with that person. So sorry about that! I have never had that experienced before and hoping it will not ever happen. Sounds like a mentally ill person or something. Whenever we go on a trip somewhere I always like to google it first and see what the comments are about the place and stuff, so I kind of have an idea what to expect. hahahaha... :) Anyway, glad you mae it out there in one peice though. Sorry about the throwing up as well. Glad to be part of the link up again this week. : )

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  47. Cute corsage as well. I would love to give it a try once I have the time. :) thanks for sharing.

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  48. They say that bad service and experience spread faster by work-of-mouth than good ones, so that shop must be the talk of all who have visited.

    The brooch is charming, thanks for linking to the instructions. Now gotta go make one myself...

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  49. I've also encountered that woman!! She's awful, we were flicking through the prints outside and apparently we weren't doing it properly. I don't think we said much other than "yeah we know what we're doing", then my friend distracted her asking for prints of Soho, which she didn't have. Sounds like we got her on one of her more pleasant days. I might start taking people round there to wind her up. I do have a massive crush on Bernard Black... he ruined my retail skills, when I used to work in a shop I was often rude, but with good reason, nothing like the crazy woman of Cecil Court.
    Love your brooch.... it looks fiddly however... xxxx

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  50. OH gosh therre are some real nutters out there how she stays in business is a mystery! Your felt corsage is amazing, I need to get crafting again I've been terribly lazy lately. xx

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