Bloggers. In cities, it's said you're never more than 6 feet away from one. Whether they're photographing their hazelnut mochaccino froth and cinnamon whirl in your local cafe, or snatching up that set of original Babycham glasses from under your nose at the jumble sale, you can't go anywhere these days without bumping into a cute girl with an iphone and a teacup necklace. But if you've yet to take the plunge, what kind of blogger should you be? And if you've already got your first followers - are you really being true to yourself? Inspired by the 'personality tests' in the magazines of my misspent youth, take my in-no-way-serious quiz and find out!
1. It's been a long week, but it's finally Saturday morning. What are you doing?
A. You've already been to the post office to pick up your missed deliveries from the week's internet shopping, and now you've got your camera and are taking a stack of outfit photos in front of the local primary school. Well, there's finally no-one around, and those railings make a great back-drop.
B. Popping the tea-pot back under its hand-knitted cosy, before making a start on that Easter wreath for the shed door.
C. Catching up with new shows on
Nickelodeon after taste testing 4 new breakfast cereals with the kids. Then making photo realistic light sabers out of wrapping paper cardboard tubes.
D. Coming back from the car-boot while the street-lights are still on, dragging a
Fortnum & Mason hamper filled with vintage curtains and a Midwinter tea-set.
E. Girlfriend, please - it's Saturday morning. I'm asleep.
2. Your hair is indeed your crowning glory, but what does it look like?
A. Dip-dyed ombre, currently lavender.
B. It's tied up under a rockabilly style scarf. You don't want to get glitter in it.
C. In a long pony-tail by day, glam and glossy on nights out.
D. Cherry red or shiny black, with a cute 50s style fringe. You sometimes try victory rolls, but you have no idea how women did this every day.
E. It's certainly well conditioned, there's 8 different shampoos and 4 types of nourishing masque on the side of the bath.
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3. You need to pick a name for your blog. What do you choose?
A. Narnia Girl: Wardrobe Adventures
B. Ric-Rac and Bunting
C. Staying Mum - Secrets from Parenthood's Front-line
D. Nothing New (Under the Sun)
E. Becky Sharp's Beauty Spot
4. You've thought long and hard, and decided to get your very first tattoo. What is it?
A. A dotted line sketch of a heart on your wrist.
B. A ball of yarn with needles on your shoulder.
C. A teeny tiny footprint, just on your hip.
D. A traditional swallow, with a girly coloured scroll.
E. Permanent eyebrows. They never grew back properly after your earliest attempts with tweezing.
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5. Why is your boyfriend/husband complaining?
A. The credit card bill looks like an alternative alphabet rhyme. A is for ASOS, B is for Bertie...
B. The scarf you said you'd crochet for his mum's birthday is only 12 inches long so far, and has cost £27 in Tibetan alpaca wool. He was going to pick something up in the Next sale.
C. He's fed up of you telling your friends about how inept he is with the children. It was only that one time he dressed 3 year old Esme in 9-12 months dungarees from the charity shop bag. Backwards.
D. He says it gives him the creeps the way your collection of 60s 'big eye' art always seems to be following him around the room.
E. The usual. How he's fed up of showering at work because he can't do everything in the 5 minute bathroom slot you've allotted him. Doesn't he realise you have a limited edition eyeshadow palette to swatch?
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| with thanks to Sarah Misfit |
6. Why can't your parents come and stay in the spare room?
A. It's an over-flow wardrobe. There's a distinct possibility of being killed in a shoe avalanche unless you know the safe paths.
B. They can, if they want to sleep on an antique treadle sewing machine table. The super-king sized hexi quilt should be finished really soon. Once you've given that decoupage chest of drawers a final coat of varnish.
C. At the moment, having a playroom so that Princess P's Sylvanian Family figures can be kept out of the lounge is far more important than Grandparents coming to stay. Grandparents bring more bloody toys!
D. It's full of eBay inventory. When there's a free listings weekend, you'll be right on it.
E. Your parents are always welcome. Besides, your Mum got given Creme de la Mer for her 50th birthday and you know she hardly uses it.
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7. It's time to change your profile picture. What do you upload?
A. You looking moodily at the pavement/sky, holding a satchel.
B. A colourful granny square
C. A picture of your toddler from behind, wearing wellies and a tu-tu
D. That slightly demonic looking pottery owl you just found in the Cancer Research shop
E. A close up of your eye, made up in four shades of MUA's Pretty Pastels
8. What's on your dressing table?
A. You're sure you have a dressing table - somewhere. It might be under that pile of discarded outfits in the corner.
B. A felt flower brooch, mini garland made from vintage maps, and a cross-stitch magazine.
C. Guerlain Midnight Secret, Origins eye cream, several odd socks, a box of raisins and a Power Ranger
D. An art deco vanity set, glass bon-bon dishes full of hairgrips, a 1950s poodle ornament and the cast of Bambi.
E. 87 perfumes, including all the Harajuku Lovers fragrances and some which are only available in New York.
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9. You check the search keywords in your blog stats. How do people find you?
A. Peter Pan, polka dot, brogues, ice-cream, London Fashion week, H&M Collection
B. Burlap ideas, mod-podge, cute amigurumi armadillo, XXX grannies
C. Outings with under 5s, toddler tantrums, Cybermummy, Carrot stains Marc Jacobs
D. vintage tea set, Tretchikoff Green lady painting, Cats eye glasses, cheap charity shop
E. OPI swatches, Urban Decay, fishtail braid how-to, Customs charges USA to UK
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10. What are you drinking?
A. Tea
B. Tea
C. Tea
D. Tea
E. Tea
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If you answered mainly As...You are Personal Style Penny. You refer to clothes as 'pieces' and 'remix' your clothes rather than merely wearing them in different combinations. You like statement jewellery, small dogs and
Irregular Choice shoes. Your boyfriend dislikes your high waisted floral shorts, but your 2,755 followers disagree and adore the way you've styled them. Your ultimate ambition is to be snapped by
The Sartorialist.
If you answered mainly Bs...You are Made it Myself Molly. Your 'DIY ideas' board has reached
Pinterest's limit of 1000 pins and you have recently worked out you will need to outlive Methuselah to complete all your WIPs. You have signed up to 11 craft fairs this year and have a permanent hot glue blister on your thumb. Your fabric stash has contained a fat quarter with matryoshka dolls on for 11 years now, awaiting just the right project.
If you answered mainly Cs...You are Mummy Blogger Millie. You used to work in advertising, but now spend your days ruled by the capricious whims of tiny dictators. So, not much difference then. You are a social networking addict, and brand ambassador for any number of kid-centric companies, which certainly makes life on one income less expensive. Your children always have the most interesting lunch-boxes as a result of all the free samples you receive.
If you answered mainly Ds...You are Second Hand Sally. You treat the high street with suspicion, bordering on contempt, and prefer the run down areas with a high concentration of charity shops. Your friends find you a useful resource for offloading 'hideous stuff my Granny left me', but are always happy to come for cake in your bright and cheerful kitchen. They are secretly impressed when
Elle Decoration features the very same mid-century sideboard as you have in your lounge.
If you answered mainly Es...You are Beauty Blogger Becky. Your YouTube channel has nearly as many views as Kony 2012, and you have an extra recycling box from the council for all your empty products. You have firm opinions on whether
GlossyBox or
Boudoir Prive is better, and refuse to be swayed on the matter. However, you continue to subscribe to both. You can look on the bright side of any situation - a three hour delay at Heathrow means spritzing and swatching galore in duty free!
If you answered across the board - Congratulations! You could be a 'Lifestyle' blogger, making everything you do desirable. Your starter kit will be delivered shortly - a vintage suitcase,
Tatty Devine name necklace and half a dozen Ladurée macaroons.
Love ya,
Lakota x
