This Bas Kosters hiking jacket boasts a Cath K style polka dot lining, and is in a complexion flattering shade of...flesh. And...HOLY ASSORTED GENITALIA BATMAN, WTF is that pattern?! Aah, yes - that would the penises. It's important that the rescue helicopter sees you clinging to the rock-face after all.
The penis jacket - guaranteed to get you a park bench all to yourself
339 Euros. A snip
Also available as a lovely silk scarf. Maybe not for the school gates though.
You're WELCOME. [Edit: I've already lost someone. Honestly, I just find this stuff, I don't wear it. Much]
PS. Thank you to those who emailed me concerned about my disappearance, I appreciate it. But I'm back, and on fine and upstanding form ;-)