It's the time of year that Boots run an advert on a permanent loop, showing some bunch of shrieking harpies elbowing each other in the ladies' loos as they apply 'shimmering party eyegloss' and tong their hair effortlessly with one hand, and one is forced on nights out with previously normal colleagues who suddenly resemble Little Mix rolled in glue and glitter. [Yes I know I said I liked Christmas. I do. But I can't maintain a Pollyanna attitude indefinitely.]
Otherwise achingly modern magazines prefer to merely lift an article from the archives of around 1958, assuming that if women work at all, it will be in an office, and that we're all dying to impress 'Tony from Accounts' by donning something spangly over the top of our normal work attire. [Just add dangly earrings and a sequinned bolero and he'll be looking at you in a whole new light! I'm not sure why it's always 'Accounts' either. The department has been called 'Finance' since at least 1994]. If you already have a partner, or just aren't interested in an over-weight credit controller in a shiny Next shirt, tough. Christmas parties are all about finding LOVE!
Lifebuoy soap advert from Tit-Bits magazine December 1957
Once you've primped, preened and adorned yourself with novelty jewellery of the flashing kind - just make sure you're 'careful enough about personal freshness'. Man-made fibres and a few too many eggnogs in a crowded function room can result in a man-repelling whiff - and 'perfumes and deodorants are not enough'. Yes, apparently Lifebuoy soap was the equivalent of Lynx for the ladies back in the day, getting 'right into the pores' and ensuring you went from stinky man-repeller to engaged and fragrant fox in the blink of an eye.
Charm your troubles away, ladies!
Lakota x
Ha Ha!! I D R E A M of having the energy to be a shrieking harpie! But I don't think Tony from Accounts would get my vote, in or out of his Next shirt! Merry Christmas dear, to you and your family. xxx
ReplyDeleteLifebuoy stank! Ugh, no idea what they put in it... there was a green striped one and a pinky/orangey stripey one. Always reminds me of my dad's unheated bathroom, back in the day. Ha ha about Little Mix rolled in glitter... x
ReplyDeleteGive me enough alcohol and even Barry the caretaker in a shiny shell suit isn't safe.
ReplyDeleteLove this post, your wit is razor sharp!
Merry Christmas!
X
Ha! So true, the screeching harridans of the Boots advert are why I like to sit on my own and listen to radio 4 in my office
ReplyDeleteAh yes . . . the Boots adverts. Filled the past few years with various car crash renditions of that memorable Sugababes song 'Here Come The Girls'. Sends me running to my girlie-bonding-mascara-wand-waving-glittery-office-party self. Or maybe not.
ReplyDeleteJem xXx
P.S - You're anything but a nag and it touched me that you dropped few lines to check I was okay :-) Just thought I'd better post and let people know I hadn't had a mysterious hang-gliding accident or anything
ReplyDeleteJem xxxxxxx
Some adverts really make you question whether the world has moved on at all... No work's Christmas do I ever went on was remotely like those Boots adverts.
ReplyDeleteAnd sadly my lack of Lifebuoy meant I was a stranger to love-among-the-colleagues. Thank God! xxxxxx
SO THAT"S what I've been doing wrong! Sarah xxx
ReplyDeleteI remember those Lifebuoy ads, where they whispered "B O !" at each other. As a child I was really confused, as I had not idea what it meant and my friend said it was something to do with Bottoms.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like the soap at all.
I dreamed of being rich enough to use Imperial Leather.
as for love-among-the-colleagues, most primary schools only have one bloke on the staff, plus the caretaker.
happy days xx
Couldn't be bothered going to my work Christmas parties this year...wouldn't need Lifebuoy if I did. All females at my paid job, and I'm the only person under 70 at my volunteer one. Besides I'm happily married!
ReplyDeleteTee hee our works do was a bunch of females and one poor male headteacher, it was costly and to be frank rather dull - hey ho !!
ReplyDeleteTwiggy x
Ps I remember Lifebuoy soap!!
I love the vintage comics! =)
ReplyDeletepinkchampagnefashion.blogspot.com
I thrive on being a shrieking harpie!!! You do have a lovely way with words,darl,and you make me giggle!XXX
ReplyDeleteDon't you bloody start! After being happily single for over 4 years, I've suddenly been asked out twice in the past 2 weeks. I don't know what I've done wrong....:)
ReplyDeleteMy mom has recently developed a theory as to why she sweats so much in certain areas. She says it's because her under arm pores are clogged. So I told her to stop shaving, sarcastically, and she agreed, seriously. People are just as easily swayed as they were back when this ad was created. I say.
ReplyDeleteMwuahahahaha ouchie! i'm so grateful to be born where deodorant has been invented and sold! can't imagine those days without it, so did they bathe with the soap or did they had to use the soap in the armpits every now and again with water? hahaha so i take it Joe doesnt have the B.O problem eh? hehe
ReplyDeletexx susan
Hehe! You are a laugh.
ReplyDeleteI hate those ridiculous Boots adverts although I think that's how I must have come across in my two years of working in an Accounts department (the place was stuck in the 1950s)as I was always expected to organise the office parties and blokes in shiny suits flocked round my desk like the proverbial flies around something unfragrant. x
Love the post! I was wondering why lifebouy soap sounded familiar..it shows up in the movie 'A Christmas story'..soap poisoning!
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha bless you ;-)) Have a wonderful christmas and i hope its a magical new year, dee xx
ReplyDeleteThis must be where I went wrong. I never achieved higher than Jason the mailroom boy, although I did have to bat Keith (the silver fox) Marketing Director away with a sharp stick.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Keith was drawn to my aroma...?
Carol’s friend was very brave. Twice I’ve had staff with this problem and no-one wants to be the one to tell them, so it fell to me. It’s ghastly, and the relationship is never quite the same again.
ReplyDeleteOffice Christmas parties - never really lived up to expectations! Trying to look "cool" while doing the "birdie dance" and "oops upside your head" ... naw!
ReplyDeleteLiz @ Shortbread & Ginger
I love the fact she has a ring on her finger in the last picture!
ReplyDeleteClearly all those years what I was missing was Lifebuoy......
You have to send me lifebouy it must be the reason I can't attract a man. Not that there is any decent ones were I work anyway ha ha. I love these ads, one product and all their problems disappear.
ReplyDeletexx
Charm your troubles away, LOVE IT! What a great post, I love how you write! Was the magazine really called Tit-Bits?!?!?!?!! That makes it even funnier!
ReplyDeleteI wondered why I didn't pull at the staff chrimbo party... must've forgotten my Lifebouy...
ReplyDeleteI avoid office parties like the plague!
ReplyDelete